When speaking in Miami last November, I was working with the Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau whose slogan is “Miami Begins With Me.” I love that slogan, not only because it was created by my favorite blogger, Bruce Turkel, but also because it says so much with so few words. It is also in complete alignment with my understanding of having a life-long romance with what you do.
Everything one does, whether it is designing an experience for a tourist, helping in an assisted-living community, waiting on a table, or any other variation of customer service, begins with each individual doing their job well and with pride. Some of us are lucky enough to choose a job that we love while others learn to love the job that chose them. If we can look at our relationship to our work as a romance, it will change the way we approach it, understand it and ultimately behave. I learned this very important idea from my friend and muse, Joanna Husk, who calls herself “my amuse.”
I wrote about work as a romance it in my latest book, The Art and Science of the Hotel Concierge, and I teach it in my customer service training programs. In the hospitality, retail and medical industries, experiences with clients are usually fleeting. But one’s relationship to the work itself can be long lasting and dynamic. Just like a romance, your job requires the initial burst of passion, followed by enduring the inevitable familiarity and routine. And if you chose well, it evolves into the ability to continually learn, grow and change.
In my seminars, I conduct an exercise where I ask attendees to find a partner and to discuss the kinds of work where they experienced pleasant relationships. I instruct the listener to take notes about the tone and inflection of the voice, descriptors, body language and overall feeling. Then I ask them to talk about someone they deeply love. At the end, after both people have had an opportunity to complete the exercise, we discuss what was different about the two exchanges. When we talk about something we love, our feelings deepen, we become more compassionate and the world around us seems filled with possibilities. The same thing can happen to our work if we manage to experience it from this perspective. In the case of concierges, having them talk about the cities or wine valleys they curate as their primary relationship that they are in love with is a game changer.
This is one of those practices that requires a bit of skill and imagination. It makes me think of the some of the stunts I see on television that include the warning, “Don’t try this at home.” In this case, I definitely recommend experimenting with this exercise on a regular basis, so please try this at home and at work!
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