As we go about the day, “stuff” happens. We encounter an endless stream of events, information and encounters. Once we experience the event, absorb the information or share the encounter, we’re often at the mercy of our knee-jerk reaction to it. The problem is, our reactions quite often have nothing to do with reality.
Unless faced with a true emergency, it’s better to reflect and respond to what goes on around us, rather than simply react to it. Make a conscious decision about the story you tell yourself about any situation. This gives you the freedom to choose how you will feel and act, as well as the way your responses will impact you and others.
Here’s an example: You’re shopping at a shoe store and have a question regarding a pair of shoes. You query one of the store’s employees, only to receive a withering look and terse response. You’re happy with the answer, but feel insulted, unimportant and aggravated.
Story 1: Feeling the negative emotions, you throw the shoebox and slap your credit card on the counter, sighing indignantly. You say nothing to the cashier, but look with a stony stare into the distance.
Upon leaving the store, you cut off another vehicle in the parking lot, uttering a few choice words. You vow never to frequent the store ever again and resolve to tell all your friends about your dreadful experience. Glowering, you return to the office, the excitement of buying a new pair of shoes lost in the scuttle.
Story 2: Breathing deeply, you manage your emotions, reflect on the situation and consider the possible underlying factors. Perhaps the employee has had a bad day, week or even year. Or, perhaps he or she is simply an unpleasant person, who is bound to be suffering the consequences of his or her attitudes and behaviors. It’s really silly to take it personally. You received the answer you wanted, and all is well.
You shake off any negative feelings, don a smile, feel the excitement about your new shoes and respond kindly to all whom cross your path. When returning to the office, you feel refreshed, extend only courtesy to your coworkers and customers, and look forward to wearing the shoes.
How you react or respond to any circumstance—petty or ponderous—becomes your story and your reality. When you thoughtfully respond to a situation, you have the choice of choosing the tale you’ll step into. It can be the screenplay of horror movie or an uplifting film. It all depends how you hold it.