Perception is Reality, Until You See a Situation Differently

I was relaxing in a hammock in the suburbs of Cleveland, talking to my three- and six-year-old nieces. It wasn’t long before one of them asked me with curiosity, “Do you have any children?”

I told her I didn’t, which only sparked her curiosity further. “Then you’re not a mother?” she asked.  I shook my head and told her I wasn’t. I saw the growing perplexity on her face before she asked, “So you’re nothing?”

I was initially taken aback, then found the words to respond to her. I told her I am an aunt, a wife, a friend, a teacher, a  professional speaker, a customer service expert (I had to explain that one!), and the list went on.

In the process, I had a couple of insights.  One is that it’s all about perception. From the eyes of a six-year-old in suburban Ohio, if you’re a woman, you must be a mother.  Perception is reality, until you see differently.

The fact that everyone has his or her own perception is an important insight when relating to others. Perceptions are shaped by so many variables—culture, geographic region, life experience, etc. In customer service, we seldom know the background or life situation of those we help, and sometimes we are taken aback by what they say to us.

As I emphasize in my book, The Neon Signs of Service,” Don’t take it personally!” Instead, we can listen carefully and ask the right questions, doing our best understand where the person is “coming from” and what his or her very human needs are. If they do come to us with limited perspectives, we can gently lead them to an understanding of how we can solve their problems or best meet their needs.

The second realization I had was how much all of us identify with our roles. Whether you’re a butcher, baker, candlestick maker, mother, father, etc., is only a role we play. It is a facet of the complexity of who we are; and yet, as human beings, we are so much more. This is a key point—not only when developing an understanding of others—but also when we search our souls in an effort to comprehend ourselves. Enlightened self-awareness gives us a more in-depth appreciation of the entirety of who we are and what we bring to the world.  From that place we can truly deliver world class experiences and design positive memories.