Good News! You’re the Perfect One Who Can Help Solve it!
In the activist-driven ‘60s, many of us lived by the slogan: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem.” These were wise words. Recently however, consultant and speaker, Finley Catrone turned the tables on this premise. She said, “If you’re not part of the problem, then you can’t be a part of the solution.”
I had to ponder this for a minute before I could make sense of it. If we acknowledge that we are part of a problem, then it’s within our control to make changes and become a part of the solution, especially when it comes to difficulties with our relationships—both personal and professional. It’s always instructive to ask yourself: “What is my part in this?” Then, we can consider making positive changes in our actions and attitudes, freeing us to do our share in arriving at a solution.
I have a rule I teach in my classes. I call it the “Three jerks in a row” rule that means if you are helping a customer and you are thinking that they are a real jerk, well, perhaps they are or at least their behavior is annoying. If you are thinking the exact same thing while helping the next customer, it may be true, however if the third customer you are serving strikes you as a jerk, I suggest you take a break and look in the mirror. It is most likely something you are projecting! Truly, if you are not part of the problem you cannot be part of the solution.
I love the lesson behind the adage, “When you’re pointing your finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you.” When we accept responsibility for our own attitudes and actions and own our contributions to troublesome situations, we not only take a big step forward toward finding solutions, but also set an example for others to follow.