Connections

I just attended a lecture by my friend, Dr. Toni Galardi (www.lifequake.com). It was titled, “Abodanza—The Seven Secrets I Learned From My Italian Grandmother” and it is about how to handle whatever life throws at you.

The first of Toni’s Grandmothers’ seven secrets states that we should try to make a personal connection with everyone we meet. The heart and soul of Dr. Galardi’s work is actually embodied in this first secret, because making a connection with everyone you meet is directly reflected in being able to have successful personal and professional lives. The reason this is so important, according to Dr. Galardi (in partnership with her Nana), is because if we truly pay attention to making connections, it increases serotonin and oxytocin levels in our brains. These are the natural chemicals that induce happiness.

This connection idea is an important thread in my own life as well. Several years ago, I wrote a company-wide program for Hampton Inns entitled “Connect, Connect, Connect.” The most important takeaway of the training is that emotionally connecting with guests and vendors was the shortest and most effective path to loyalty, which of course has a direct relationship to the bottom line profit margin.

In our personal lives, connection increases our ability to experience joy and enjoy the moment. This is especially useful when running errands, where we all too often space out and simply “go through the motions.” Turning your thinking to connecting instead of completing a task changes the experience. Right after Dr. Toni’s lecture, I headed to the grocery store to pick up a few items for dinner. While checking out, I made a point of connecting with the bagger and almost forgot my change. I made a funny remark, everyone laughed and suddenly I noticed the young baggers huge dimples, curly hair and unusual name. I asked him the origin of his name and he told me he was from Ecuador but the name was African. He then told me it was only his second day at work and he had just turned 16. The exchange was only a few minutes, but it enriched my day. I had to smile and thank Dr. Toni for the reminder of the power of connection.

Colleagues have often told me that they remember and have put into action a technique from a speech I gave at an International Concierge Convention held in DC many years ago. During the talk, I held up a map and asked, “How many of you mark an “X” and say to your guests “You are here? At least a hundred times a day?” Many hands went up. I then suggested that they start saying “WE are here.” Changing that one phrase would bring the concierge into the present moment and connect them with that particular guest. It is a reminder to be aware of the power of connection, to stay in the moment and not succumb to the tedium of the task. Even though I understand the power of connection, teach it and write about it, it is always good to be reminded of the impact of such a small change in vocabulary and action.

In my Spirit in Service trainings, I help employees to get in touch with the emotional side of the job that is necessary to insure customer loyalty. Lately, I have had several businesses—a hospital, a bank and a phone center— requesting assistance with their customer service teams. They all need to get their teams to connect more effectively with their customers. Unfortunately, the success of their businesses has really suffered as a result of being process oriented and not relationship oriented. Interestingly enough, some of these companies have also told me that their company culture is conservative or analytical and that my work may not be a fit because it is not those things. I am always amused by this response because emotions are neither conservative nor analytical, they are emotional. One of the most effective ways to reach people is to open to the heart of service, which is my area of expertise.

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