I have been thinking about the idea of recovery lately. Essentially, I’ve been wondering how one recovers from a mistake, although the more formal use of the word recovery, such as being IN recovery, has some application here as well.
The prayer that is most commonly associated with recovery is called The Serenity Prayer and I believe no wiser words have ever been written.
The Serenity Prayer
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Wow, those words can be applied to just about every situation we encounter on a daily basis. It can be used in our relationships and applied to our behaviors, especially when we mess up. I recently was given a very interesting lesson in recovering from a mistake that was too late to change.
I had sent a proposal to a do a speaking engagement for a company’s annual meeting. I felt really good about my conversation with the project lead (and key decision maker) and knew I was the right fit for the job. Unfortunately, the e-mail I received in response to my proposal was surprising in its tone. It was curt and not very flattering. It turned out that it was an e-mail intended for another Holly, a member of the internal team. The sender pressed a button too quickly and it went to me instead.
The contents are not as important as the lesson. Of course, part of the lesson is to be very careful before we push “send,” but the real lesson is in how he recovered. My client sincerely apologized, explaining that it was never meant to go to me. He disclosed what the internal dialogue really meant, which in fact had more to do with respect than disrespect. His recovery from the mis-communication opened the door to possibly new opportunities and a deeper understanding of how aligned we were in creating meaningful work.
Whether he knew it or not, I believe he used the wisdom in the serenity prayer to recover. He understood the difference between what he could do something about and what he couldn’t. He accepted the things he could not change (the e- mail had been sent) and he changed the things he could by recovering from the mistake with a sincere apology.
The lessons learned in this one exchange are at the foundation of my Spirit in Service trainings—the power of the apology, the human needs behind the business needs, and letting go of having to be right.
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