Photo by Bill Apton
The literal meaning is that without the mud the lotus will not grow but the metaphor is of the lotus flower as the beautiful and the mud as all the yuk surrounding it. In life there is the hard, difficult, painful stuff along with the exquisite, if we only stop long enough to look, to focus on it, be grateful and to be open to it all.
This famous Thich Nhat Hanh quote about the lotus, got me thinking about Mike White’s brilliant take on the happenings at a luxury hotel under the brand name. White Lotus, as well as the dark satirical response of Saturday Night Live, called Black Lotus, of the equally dark and funny TV series.
I am often asked what I think about it and I am always torn on how to respond.
Indeed, I think it is well done, creatively filmed and seamlessly performed. And yet, I find it disturbing beyond the obvious story lines. The disparity of the ultra high net worth individuals and the people who serve them is portrayed with stinging wit and wryness, leaning heavily on the resentment of the servers seemingly forced into servitude.
When in fact no one forces people to accept this kind of work, everyone is at choice and should fully understand that their jobs are to create an experience worthy of the inflated prices required to pay, to enjoy these kinds of luxury experiences.
That in fact is a fact of employment.
While the prices for travel seem to have become increasingly shocking, as many high-end properties charge several thousand dollars a night, it still remains relative and definitely nothing new.
The high-end luxury experience has always been designed and delivered to a privileged few.
The difference since the pandemic, seems to be the way many staff members have elevated a sense of resentment and downright hostility in equal proportion to what is perceived as an exponential entitlement quotient. It seems that people paying exorbitant rates have high expectations for what they expect to receive.
This has always been the case and rightly so.
Why the upleveled resentment and passive aggressive mean spiritedness depicted on TV in the iconic White Lotus and hospitality social media platforms, where bitching about guests goes beyond gallows humor.
The businesses dedicated to this demographic and the people working within them have known throughout history that the playing field is not equal. It never has been so why not embrace the many gifts that hospitality affords? Here are a few to remember….
For the team that works in the front of the house being in beautiful surroundings should never be taken for granted. I cried the first time I saw what seemed like a sea of cubicles at a high-tech company I was consulting for. I felt so terrible that people had to come to work in environments devoid of any beauty.
Serving people responsible for high level decisions, philanthropy, progress, and innovations is a privilege.
On my very first hospitality consulting assignment, I helped train the team at The Lodge at Koele on the Island of Lanai in Hawaii.
One of the guests at the Lodge was Louise M Davies. She was there to celebrate a milestone birthday with her family. The Symphony Hall in San Francisco has her name on it. At the time, I was so excited to be teaching the team that would take care of HNW individuals and their families. Today, more than 30 years later I still think that.
I am grateful that my work affords me the opportunity to purchase symphony tickets and enjoy the concert. It never occurred to me to resent someone who made the symphony hall possible. Serving people who have the ability to do these things is a source of pride.
Of course, not everyone is a pleasure to serve, that is the mud and part of the territory.
No one serving should be abused
(See article Is it time to break up with our customers https://www.hotelexecutive.com/business_review/7119/is-it-time-to-break-up-with-our-customers)
It may feel like a fine line but being obnoxious is very different from being abusive. In White Lotus, hilarity ensues when a romantic cruise is double booked with a cremation ceremony, funny right? Or is it? Maybe I am just a stick in the mud, but I cringed. Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you should
In one of my workshops many years before selfies a cocktail server told me guests that she felt were obnoxious asked to have their picture taken and she cut all their heads off. I imagine it felt good in the moment but getting back at people and secretly loathing who you serve is simply not ok. Rising above it is.
And in what universe is defecating in a guests suitcase justified as the perfect revenge.
(sorry, spoiler alert) I know it is Hollywood but I believe in
Hospitality not hostility.
There was in fact one relatable sympathetic character in the first season of White Lotus. The Spa Director was portrayed as someone who cared and chose to serve with love, truly wanting to make a difference and have a positive impact on her clients. Therefore, people liked her, she was relatable and sympathetic, everyone else, not so much.
As for me, while I considered White Lotus must watch TV, and was glued to each episode, I hated that it opened up a space for incivility and a degradation of the time honored professions of Hospitality and Inn Keeping.
I feel it is important to reframe some if the aftermath of this portrayal.
It is noble to be responsible for respite, rejuvenation, and entertainment in exquisite locales.
By appreciating the opportunity to work in inspiring places, to be a part of a team sport and commit to making a difference in the lives of others, It is possible to reap countless benefits.
This is my personal mission along with my partner Mary Steadman at Stiel and Steadman Service Solutions.
https://stielandsteadmanservicesolutions.com
We recognize the power of serving with love where we focus on the lotus, acknowledge the mud with an understanding that it is all a part of it. And as Lenny Kravitz so eloquently says
Let Love Rule